Forever Fragile
by grissomsbutterfly1013
Summary: When the CSI team investigates the murder of a dead neighbor and a baby, memories from Grissom's past begin to resurface. Will Grissom be able to handle the true identity of the killer? WIP
1. Prologue

**A/N: **A special thanks to everyone who enjoyed "Magenta Skies." Your kind reviews and compliments inspired "Forever Fragile." Thanks to **Unspoken** for betaing once more, you're the best.

Prologue

**Forever Fragile**

Grissom held Sara close, unable to let her go. He knew he should have told her the truth long ago.

Now she was unable to trust him, and he may eventually lose her.

As he breathed in the soothing scent of her hair, he continued to drift in and out of sleep while recalling the day's events.

His team seemed satisfied with his explanation, perhaps they were just pretending to be supportive. Grissom could only wonder how they really felt.

If he were to leave her, only for a little while, would she still be waiting for him?

Tomorrow he would have to make his decision, should he follow the evidence or should he finally follow his heart.

Only time could tell.


	2. Chapter 1: Questionable Emotions

Chapter 1

**Forever Fragile**

As Grissom entered the crime scene, he could immediately smell the pungent, yet unique odor of iron in the air.

Fresh blood.

As he hulled his heavy, metal forensics kit through a narrow hallway, he finally saw Brass talking with another officer. Most likely he arrived first on scene.

"Hey Gil, you're not going to like this one…" Brass sighed as he thanked the officer for his statement and then walked with Grissom into the privacy of the home's living room. The room seemed about as clean as an overloaded dumpster outside of a New York fish market. Used needles lined a filthy wooden table with one broken leg. The carpet was as black as coal, making Grissom believe it was not its original color. The couch had springs poking out left, right and center and the smell from its fabric almost over powered the smell of death within the home.

"Not your typical fixer-upper." Brass noted, as Grissom waited to hear more about the scene.

"What are we looking at Jim? The radio said there were two dead bodies, nothing more." Grissom fought the sense of adrenaline that pumped through his body every time he started a new case. The feeling was as frightening and as exhilarating as taking a ride on a roller coaster- his favorite pass time.

"The victims are in the bedroom. Oh and the house owners have vanished. The house belongs to a Mr. and Mrs. Gary Higgins and they are neither dead nor present. We've put out a bulletin to try and track them down. " Brass looked more glum than usual which made Grissom's heart flutter.

"And that's all you're going to tell me?" Grissom arched an eyebrow as he tried to analyze his friend's expression. It was bleak and desperate, the kind of expression Grissom got when a case got too emotional.

"I figured I'd let you see it for yourself and work the scene." Brass was still unable to stare Grissom in the eye and he needed to know why.

Grissom picked up his briefcase and inched towards the bedroom that was closed off with crime scene tape.

"At least they sealed off the scene, limiting traffic." He thought, as he heard his footsteps echo on the heavily scuffed linoleum. As he approached closer and closer, the odor of dead flesh tickled his nostrils. Over time a CSI gets used to death and all its associations, but sometimes, even a scientist can be taken aback by a scene.

As Grissom turned the corner and ducked his head past the crime scene tape, the first body caught his eye.

A dead male between the age of fifty-five to sixty was on the floor clothed, with four bullet wounds; one of which were in his head.

The blood spatter on the walls indicated that the victim had been shot from a high angle.

_The vic was on the ground while the shooter had killed its prey._

Grissom took out his flashlight and began to search the room for the other dead body before processing the rest of the scene.

The bedroom was small and held a feminine feel. The pink bedspread with faded roses imprinted on its surface made Grissom believe thenext victim he would find was a young woman. This was the home's only bedroom, and it was far from cozy. Apparently, the dirt did not stop- even in the bedroom. Grissom continued to look for the next body. Did Brass get all the facts straight? The room was small and another body should be clearly visible.

Before Grissom looked under the bed for the next body, a small box caught his eye. His heart began to pound in his chest as a small hand started to come into view.

He fought the feeling to flee the scene as he forced himself to process without emotion. However, his clinical detachment failed as a small figure came into view.

"_It could still be alive_." Grissom thought, as he felt light headed .

A small baby, no more than five months lay inside a cardboard box marked "fragile."

"_Apparently, no one felt that this small life was fragile enough." _ Grissom shook the remark from his mind as he forced himself to process the evidence.

This time the feelings were too strong.

He knelt over and checked the child's pulse, knowing very well it wouldn't be there, as he felt the sting of tears well up in his eyes.

He wouldn't remind himself of the pain, he would bury it. He needed to work the evidence.

As he snapped several photos of both bodies, a gun on top of a bookshelf caught his eye.

He took a couple of photos before gently placing the gun into an evidence bag. He could only hope there were a couple of good sets of finger prints to work with.

As he scanned the floor with his flashlight for any fibers or hairs, he was struck with the reality that someone had cleaned up.

The strong smell of pine cleanser grew stronger as he leaned closer to the floor by a near by window.

Whoever tried to hide their tracks failed…

Grissom sprayed neophaline on a small circular, cotton cloth and rubbed it into the floor gently. The end result left him pleased and hopeful.

The cloth turned red and slightly pink, indicating that someone had tried to cover up blood.

"Seek and you shall find." Grissom noted proudly aloud.

When it came time to examine the baby for evidence, he hesitated once more. As he loomed over the box, a familiar feeling in his heart overwhelmed him. The child looked innocent even in death.

Grissom was transfixed on the child before him, and without thinking he lovingly touched the child's cheek with a gloved hand.

Sara carefully ducked under the tape and was taken aback by Grissom's gesture towards the dead child.

When Sara had heard the officers talking about the dead baby, she knew she should help Grissom. He shouldn't be alone. Grissom had never mentioned why he was so attached to child abuse cases. So far in their relationship he hasn't opened up to her. They had been together for almost a year now, and still she hesitated to bring up the subject in fear of upsetting him.

"Griss- you alright?" Sara asked, as she continued to stare at Grissom with no lack of compassion.

"Yeah I'm fine." Grissom said coldly, as he walked away from the child and out of the crime scene.

Sara was left with the evidence and a whole lot of questions.

TBC...

I'd love to hear what you thought about this chapter. Reviews are inspiration.


	3. Chapter 2: Disarray

**A/N:** These chapters have been rewritten so many times! Now I think I'm on the right track. Thanks to Mel who did another amazing betaing job. Without her, I wouldn't have got this plot down! Intense chapters coming soon!

Chapter 2

**Forever Fragile**

Brass was the only one who knew about their relationship, although Sara was beginning to suspect that Catherine was catching on. As long as Ecklie didn't find out; it would be another reason for him to harass Grissom.

"How long has he been like this?" Brass asked, as Grissom continued to sit in his locked office, with the blinds closed.

"Ever since he left the scene." Sara announced helplessly. She wished she could comfort Grissom and find out why he was so affected. But she knew him well enough to know that he still held many secrets.

A feeling of anger suddenly swarmed through Sara's body as she thought of an explanation.

"He doesn't trust me, does he?" Sara said, as she continued to stare at the locked door.

"If he didn't, he wouldn't be with you now. Just give him sometime." Brass assured Sara with a friendly hand on her shoulder.

"You know why he's so affected don't you?"

"Sometimes a man carries many demons, some of them may be especially hard to let go of. Trust is never a factor in man's decision to hold secrets, sometimes they are just best to be kept hidden. When a man reveals his secrets, he is the most vulnerable…" Brass glanced from Sara to the closed door, further emphasizing his point covered in subtext. "Some men fear one thing more than anything…"

"Vulnerability." Sara finished the sentence knowing very well that was Grissom's biggest fear. It was the one fear that kept him from accepting her first offer at dinner. He had kept her at a distance, in fear of being vulnerable. But she thought they were finally past that. Although, when she looked back on what they had shared, one thing became clear. She had revealed more about her past than Grissom had.

He was keeping something hidden, and that something still scared his heart.

As Grissom sat in his office, he turned up the opera which flooded through his headphones. When he felt cornered by the harsh realities of the world sometimes the best thing he could do was shut it out. As he tried to lose his mind in the music, he couldn't stop seeing the baby he had found in the box.

Its face was so gentle, so caring. So many people long for a child of their own, how could someone end a life that had barely even begun?

For the first time in a while, a migraine unleashed its force, and Grissom was regretting not refilling his old prescription. In a way, he felt that he deserved the pain for what happened to him long ago.

He could have saved them, he could have found her.

They were both gone he knew, but he couldn't help but cringe as he looked at the photos from the crime scene. It was too close for comfort; he needed to be off the case. Catherine could take over, although that would bring too many questions.

…And then there was Sara.

She didn't know, and he didn't want her to find out. What would she think of him? She would fear the unknown for the rest of her life, and he didn't want that to be a factor in their relationship.

Brass was the only one who knew of his secrets, and he was the only one that he trusted. He didn't want to expose Sara to the world he had left behind long ago.

He needed to finish this case and find the one responsible; maybe then he could start to put his mind at ease and move on.


	4. Chapter 3: In the Dark

Chapter 3

**Forever Fragile**

_Grissom ran through the hallway, unable to catch the man in black. He tried as hard as he could to stop him, but he knew it was too late. Slowly, he made his way back into his home not wanting to see the aftermath. _

_His heart couldn't stop pounding and the tears wouldn't seize. _

_As he started to make his way back to the house, a baby's cries alarmed Grissom immediately. He turned his body around to the sound of the young child's voice and started to run. The cries grew louder and louder, yet he couldn't find their source._

_As he continued to run, the street ended suddenly and all that was in sight was darkness and fog. _

_He dropped to his knees, and he couldn't take it any longer. It was his fault! He had no reason to live, his entire life was lost in an instant and he wasn't there to prevent it._

_As he pulled out his gun and forced it against his temple a figure came from the distance…_

_"Don't do it!" The voice yelled as the gun went off and Grissom dropped to the ground._

"Grissom?" Sara gently woke Grissom from his nightmare. The light circular rubs on his back tried to tell him that everything was going to be alright.

Usually when Grissom woke up from a nightmare Sara could cure his fright with a simple smile. Tonight nothing would cure him from his pain. He opened his eyes and tried to avoid her stare as much as possible. He didn't want her to see how much the dream bothered him.

"I'm fine." Grissom blandly stated, as he rose up from the bed and headed towards his kitchen.

He knew sleep was not an option, and since they were only four hours away from their next shift, coffee would keep him sane for the eighteen hours or so. As he poured the water and mechanically measured the coffee into the machine, Sara stood in the doorway confused and still demanding an explanation.

"It seems you've been giving me the 'I'm fine' treatment for the past two days now. To be honest I'm kinda tired of it." She coolly quipped, waiting for a comeback. All she got was a shrug in response. His back was still turned towards her, avoiding any attempt to make eye contact.

Sara walked slowly over to Grissom, her bathrobe swaying with every step. The coolness of the tiles below her feet couldn't dissipate the fire of anger stirring in her gut. Their relationship wouldn't work if this was the amount of communication they were going to reciprocate.

"So you really want this to fail, huh?" Sara made Grissom finally turn around. He slightly jumped back when he realized how close she was invading his personal space.

"What do I want to fail?" Grissom genuinely asked, seeming confused yet still distant.

"Us." Sara sighed, with her arms crossed over her chest.

Grissom felt his heart pound a little further, as he realized that his distance tactic may not work. On to Plan B.

"I just need sometime to think. This case has really gotten to me and I haven't felt this way in a long time. Please just be patient with me." Grissom forced a weak smile, and Sara barely seemed to buy it.

"So there's nothing you want to tell me?" Sara placed a gentle hand on one of his shoulder's trying to ease the strain that appeared to be forcing them down.

"Right now- no." Grissom handed Sara a cup of coffee and walked casually to their bedroom, not hearing the exasperated sigh that Sara deflated from her lungs.

Sara's pager went off and woke her up from her brief, yet relaxing nap in the break room. She knew more than anyone that sleeping on the job helped no one, including their cases. However, the strain of dealing with Grissom's distance was starting to increase her tossing and turning during the night. She should be concentrating on this case. She was late for a briefing with Doc Robbins; Grissom had asked Sara to be in his place. Clearly he needed to re-find his footing, and this evening would be the team's first debriefing from their processed evidence. So far the evidence in this case appeared to be minimal from Sara's prospective, however, she has not seen the entire piece of the puzzle. Her mind has sadly been on other things besides the evidence; which was not acceptable within a case as huge as this.

One dead child and a caregiver...At least Sara assumed he was the child's caregiver.

Sara entered the cold, dimly lit morgue and tried to hold back a shiver as she almost felt the feeling of death seep into her lungs, with every breath. Perhaps it was the nature of the case that made her rethink the boundaries of life. A child, barely a year old had lost its life. This case deserved Sara's full attention, and she was determined to drain every ounce of energy she had until she solved it.

Robbins barely gave Sara a nod of recognition as she approached the table. Apparently the doctor was feeling the emotional strain from this case as well. Only two things could affect Robbins in his daily routine of death: Battered women and children. This child didn't stand a chance.

Sara immediately noted the angelic, innocence that seemed to surround the child even in death. If it wasn't for the pale complexion painted on the baby's cheeks, she would have thought she was alive. She knew better than to wish away death, all she could do was speak for the victims. However, Sara did wish that the physical evidence would speak volumes.

"I'd say I'm happy to see you Sara, but under these circumstances joy isn't in the itinerary." Robbins sighed, and then dove straight into his findings. Without even looking into his notes he continued. "Baby Annabeth Higgins died of suffocation due to occlusion of the mouth and inhalation of ammonia fumes. I found several white cotton fibers in the child's airway, I sent them to trace. The strong scent of ammonia led me to run a tox screen. There was an elevated level of ammonia in baby Higgins's blood, it shows that her death took sometime." Robbins handed the report to Sara, who arched a typical Grissom eyebrow in response.

"I'm guessing our male victim, Richard Chance isn't a relative." Sara asked Robbins.

"I wouldn't know, but I did send a vial of blood to Catherine to get a DNA profile on both victims. She should have it ready for the briefing. The family of Annabeth is still missing. Brass is still trying to track them down. If Chance was the child's sitter, he didn't have much of a chance of protecting her. " Robbins stated. "I must add that who ever killed baby Annabeth was in a hurry, the ammonia only knocked her unconscious. Someone had to cut off her airway to do the rest of the job."

"Manual strangulation." Sara soberly noted, as she followed Robbins to the next table.

"Exhibit B, Richard Chance. His death was a little more direct. He was graced with four bullet wounds, three to the chest and one to the head. The final blow was to his heart, the shot to the head occurred post-mortem. I won't be able to tell you anymore until the rest of the lab results come back. I did find this in his hair..." Robbins picked a small cross off of the table and showed it to Sara.

"Looks like the cross was on a necklace, most likely a gold chain. Broken in a struggle perhaps..." Sara took the gold cross which was already sealed in an evidence bag and thanked Robbins for his quick results. She hoped the evidence could prove to be even more useful in the debriefing tonight.

Maybe with fresh evidence Grissom would snap out of whatever trance he was in and start opening up to her.

Things could only get better...She hoped.


End file.
